Love love love... so complicated. But not for long! In addition to Sternberg's theory of love (see "Love is a lot"), Gary Chapman took it a step further, combining self-awareness and using love as a language; saying that love has in fact 5 languages. Super cool right?! Languages are ways of communication; we speak French in France, Spanish in Spain, Italian in Italy, and so forth. English of course is our universal language. How can this be translated though to love? If you think about it love is the general language, like English, everyone has experienced it and has a good understanding of what they think it is. However, like the real world, not everyone speaks perfect English, so we have to adjust ourselves in order to communicate with them. Well all these sub-categories are just that, our way to modify our accent or grammar in order to get across to another person. The above picture shows what these 5 love languages are. Here's a quick breakdown of what they mean:
Words of Affirmation - this individual LOVES hearing they are missed and loved, any positive words really mean a lot to them. Same goes the other way though, where negative comments are not taken lightly and they tend to cut deep.
Acts of Service - actions definitely speak louder than words with you. As this individual you will probably tend to find satisfaction in your partner helping you out and supporting you.
Receiving Gifts - don't worry, this does NOT mean you are materialistic! Receiving little gifts just reminds you how much your partner loves you.
Quality Time - this person needs you to give them your undivided attention. Distractions, postponed dates, and/or the failure to listen can cut deep.
Physical Touch - alright, so you like to be touched more than the normal person. Appropriate touch really makes you feel connected with your partner and reassured of their affection towards you.
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Which one best represents you? Keep in mind, once you start learning languages, you carry a part of each with you and are a part of each category in a way. You might love receiving gifts, but you also might realize that when your man (or woman) is always on their phone distracted and not paying attention to you, that it stings a bit.
Challenge of the day
Think about one specific past relationship, how did you communicate to this person? Did you give them gifts, or touch them a lot, reassure with actions, or help them on a daily basis? Was there a language you 'spoke' easier than others?
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