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Writer's pictureDaya Montakhebi

Love is a lot

Updated: Apr 24, 2018

At this point, I want to introduce to you guys my personal idea of what love is.

When I see posts about love on social media, some give lots of ideas that those two people are completely and utterly happy, 100% of the time. Whoever your partner is, is supposed to be perfect for us and just come along one day and give you the world. This gives us a misconception that if we find ourselves struggling in the relationship, that that's not love. But let me slow your horses down a little bit... Love in fact involves many things: fighting, crying, appreciating, intimacy, attraction, support, conflict, and many other things. What do you think 'love' is?

Well in my opinion, love is working with another person and compromising with them when struggles come and make sure your partner is happy, but ultimately remain satisfied yourself as well (tying in the point of needing to know yourself). According to psychologist, Robert Sternberg, love has 3 main components: intimacy, passion, and commitment (generally speaking). These components can can be found mixed and matched, existent or non existent. Let's talk about them.


OKAY WHOA, information overload! What does all that in the image above mean?

  1. Intimacy (liking) - friendship and acquaintances

  2. Passion (infatuation) - relationships that have not become serious

  3. Commitment (empty love) - no passion or intimacy, generally in arranged marriages

  4. Romantic (1+2) - no commitment, generally like a one-night stand

  5. Companionate (1+3) - strong relationship but not passionate, like a strong friendship

  6. Fatuous (2+3) - kind of like 'love at first sight', no strong sense of friendship

  7. Consummate (1+2+3) - perfect level of friendship, commitment to each other, and passion in the physical sense #relationshipgoals


For more information click here.





Challenge of the day

Take a look into your own relationship (if you're in one), what components are involved in yours, do you wish they were different? Tell me why or why not!



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