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Writer's pictureDaya Montakhebi

What Makes You?

Ah, the self. Humanity's goal seems to be finding the answer to the question "who am I?" and figuring out the purpose of life and being here on earth. Has anyone figured it out? Well apparently. Authors and speakers throughout the world, such as Sarah Knight, Shannon Kaiser, Matthew Hussey, and many more, have found ways to explore their self-concept and pursue things that make them.. well.. themselves. So how the hell did they do it?!

If you read their books or watch their videos, they'll all say they they went through so much life experience, read a bunch of self help books, or Knight's favorite line... stopped giving a f*ck.


And I don't mean stop giving a f*ck about life or things, I mean organize them in a way that you are happy and proud with your decisions. If you care more about a TV show than hanging out with your coworkers (for one of many nights they go out), don't feel guilty for choosing what you care about more.


That's another discussion though.


For now, I want to explore with you the idea of self-concept. What do I mean by self-concept? I mean your identity. What makes you, you? Many factors will influence your identity, from the day you are born until the day you die. Your life experiences will show you what is out there in the world, what you like, what you don't like, what you love, what you can't stand. There's three subcategories that influence this self-concept, according to researchers and psychologists.

  1. Self Image - mental picture of how you think others see you. This might include what you look like physically, and how your personality comes off. A question you'll typically hear in regards to the self image is "what do you believe people think about you?"

  2. Ideal Self - this is the person you want to be. It can be similar or different than the person you currently are. It could involve the goals you aspire to achieve, or what personality traits you want to have and those you don't.

  3. Self Esteem - this reflects your overall emotional evaluations of yourself. Are you proud of who you are? Are you ashamed of the actions you did in the past? It can be as basic as liking what you look like physically or not.

Figuring out who you are will for sure take nothing but time, but start easy with yourself. Think about things you see in other people. What are some qualities you don't like? What kinds of things do others do that you like or don't like? This will give you an initial understanding of your personal preferences in regards to how you want to act and be.


Something else that psychologist pinpoint as an important factor of the self, is identification of personal core beliefs and values. To make things super simple for you, I've linked a personal values assessment here. Take some time to fill out some answers, although it might not be 100% accurate or tell you how to live your life, it will give you a good first step to figure out what core beliefs and values are in the first place, and what you can consider as your own. In addition, the results are pretty cool. They give you good detailed explanations and has self-development excersizes. Take a look at what the results can look like!






Challenge of the Day

Go through self image, ideal self, and self-esteem within your thoughts at some point. What do you think other people think of you? What do you want to be known for? What's your self esteem like right now, and what are some things that are hindering or benefiting it? Tell me more!


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